A FESTIVE fairy tale by John Redwood, one of Wokingham’s four MPs, has met with a mixed reaction on social media.
The story offers an EU-flavoured twist on Red Riding Hood by turning the heroine into ‘Red, White and Blue Riding Hood’.
Mr Redwood wrote: “Little Red, white and blue riding hood she needed to be very careful not to encounter the big EU wolf who these days prowled freely in their local area…
“Little Red, white and blue riding hood thought this fear of the wolf was all a bit exaggerated…. So she set out with plenty of delay, pausing on her way to pick some wildflowers … She was secretly hoping she met the wolf, so she could tell everyone it was fine.”
When Mr EU Wolf appears, Mr Redwood said that “he seemed quite polite, though his accent was a bit gruff”.
Later in the tale, the EU Wolf arrives at Granny’s cottage before the heroine and “demanded a substantial payment for the EU and proceeded to rifle the money from the old lady’s purse and from the stash under her mattress”.
And, “the vacuum cleaner to see if it complied with EU regulations to limit the power. He also sized up the bananas before joking that it was of course a myth that the EU wanted them to be straight. They were just fine, bent as they were.”
The story has a happy ending according to Mr Redwood: The Wolf was taken “far away from the cottage and his own home, into a deep foreign wood where he could no longer demand money with legal menaces of anyone or anything in red white and blue land. They all lived happily ever after, including the wolf who found lots of other woods to wander in, and plenty of new rules to enforce there”.
While some people commenting on his blog have been complimentary, others on Twitter have been less kind, mirroring the controversy Mr Redwood invoked earlier in the autumn when he appeared to suggest that investors should move money out of the UK and into Europe.
One said: “Thank you for making me laugh” while another said: “A very good parody of life in the EU.”
There was also praise including: “Nice one, John. Thanks for fighting the good fight for us.”
Others appeared to insight violence; one commented: “If only we had some backwoodsmen who could emerge from the trees with a sharp knife and a clear conscience ready to smite lingering evil wolves” and another: “I suggest you start to use the term revolutionaries to describe the Remainers, and brand them ‘The Ultras’”.
A third suggested: “There is nothing fairy tale like about the EU more of the genres horror and fantasy. Something like Alien comes to mind.”
However, the reaction on Twitter is very different.
Truly U.N.H.I.N.G.E.D. ???
— Hugh Canning (@hugh_canning) December 23, 2017
Seriously John? The lunatics have taken over the asylum and are now in government. Happy Christmas.
— Mike Sabot Bevan de Courcey, Mutineer #FBPE? (@MikeBevan_RG) December 23, 2017
Are you stoned?
— michael (@mickbiko2011) December 23, 2017
I guess you’ve started on the Christmas sherry a little too soon John. You do realise how embarrassing this is don’t you? Did you think you were being satirical?
— Paul Osborn #FBPE (@snorbo) December 23, 2017
Are you drunk?
Walk away from the computer now.
— Shit Britain (@britainisshit) December 23, 2017
It's amusing until you realise that @johnredwood actually had influence… Then it's just terrifying
— Steve #FBPE (@Tanglewood360) December 23, 2017
Thread by ‘that’ John Redwood – he frightens grown ups (never mind children) https://t.co/OPDGShPhUO
— Carol (@bilbocroft) December 23, 2017
I've just retweeted his tweet, want to make sure it get the audience it deserves, he is bonkers.
— claire savage #FBPE?? (@csav55) December 23, 2017
Stay aff the drugs Johnny, there’s a good lad??
— TheDude???? (@dudeist_temple) December 23, 2017